We wake up one day…or maybe we wake up gradually over a course of moments and situations, and we decide we aren’t satisfied with life as it is or we are unhappy with a part of our life, maybe we aren’t happy with ourselves. We witness this every New Years. People get out that list of things they desperately want to change in hopes that it brings happiness, more spending cash, sobriety, a new love…
It all starts with a moment of realization and then that initial enthusiasm. We go on that extreme diet, join the gym and work out 5 hours the first day. We get three jobs to start paying off that debt or we sign up to 4 different online dating sites. We are going to DO IT!!! Then the week finishes up and we are already bored, disheartened, frustrated, lost.
How do we make big changes and follow through? How do we set out to change and become unstoppable? I have spent decades learning this art and I still flail about at times. It is a stop and start process no matter how powerful you are. Changing our life is a journey into something new and unknown. It’s like in the movies where we watch the hero or heroine start out to make a change, overcome an obstacle seen or unseen, they start out slowly, clumsily. It’s hard to watch the painful and grueling climb. Everything that can go wrong does and the obstacles seem to be dividing like cells and multiplying. Then there is the part in the movie where our beloved hero/heroine gives up, seems to have lost the good fight. But wait!!! There follows some kind of moment where there is an epiphany, it’s usually delivered by some love interest or coach. The music swells and a montage follows with the hero training hardcore or studying night and day. It ends with overcoming and victory!!
A couple great films to get you in the mood: Peaceful Warrior and MacFarlan, USA. Peaceful Warrior is very spiritual and a bit cheesy for some, I loved it and watch it yearly to refresh my mind. MacFarlan, USA is not a real intense movie, but it is about overcoming the odds and self-sabotage, overcoming resistance, prejudice and what you have been taught you are to becoming all you can.
As for your own empowerment, there are some things you can do to get on the path to victory.
- First, you have to know what you want and how bad you want it. Tony Robbins suggest you link the desire to pain and pleasure. Simply put, you think about how much it will hurt if you don’t move forward and then you think about how great it will be if you succeed. Let’s use losing weight as our example. If you stay fat and get fatter you will become sickly, depressed and lethargic. You may become isolated, more fat, more depressed and then super sick. If you lose the weight, eat a fabulous and healthy diet, become an exercise fanatic you will feel and look great, your social circle will grow, you will be out with the kiddies playing and have a better relationship with yourself and spouse. Feels good right?!
- Draw up some goals. Make these bite-sized. Reward and celebrate after each accomplishment. Make it fun, find a way to love it. You won’t continue if you don’t love it. If it’s fitness, find an activity that you actually become addicted to. Some people become running fanatics.
- Find inspiration constantly. Find books, movies and people with great stories to keep you inspired and motivated. If it’s success in business you want then you find others who have that, you interview them, watch them, emulate them, you read books, study, research all about how to have a great business, you read about others in your field that struggled and then found success and how they overcame their hardships.
- Create a life that supports your desires. Make you life about this desire. If you have big dreams and goals, your life should be all about that. You should be breathing, talking, thinking, dreaming, eating and living in every way toward this dream.
- Let go of what doesn’t match. Let go of anything and anyone that doesn’t support this dream. You don’t have to be crazy about it and end your friendships and quit your job today, but perhaps distance yourself from those that may sabotage your efforts and cut down on work hours if you can to put more time into what you love and your dream.
- Make a plan. This maybe should have been at the top, but this is a life plan. Take your desires and work them into a year plan, 5 years, 10 years and so forth. You can always rework your plan each year as you assess things. Having a plan for your life gives it meaning and purpose. Don’t try to do it all in one month, it’s not doable and then you have run out of purpose. Purpose gives us a reason to live and thrive. Fill up your life plan with tons of purposes!
- Enjoy the way to getting there. Don’t look at goals as hard work and that you won’t be happy until you get “there”. Sometimes the best times or years are on the way to that pie in the sky. The wealthy man looks back at the beginning years with his wife in that tiny apartment and says, “those were the good times.” Don’t be in such a hurry. Enjoy the whole process and you will have more success because you are bringing joy into it.
- Be happy, don’t worry! Last bit of advice. Bring happy into all of it. The more you have joy and satisfaction, the more you will bring prosperity. And by prosperity, I mean thriving, not just money or reaching that goal. You want to thrive! Happiness is a great way to thrive and bring success and wealth to us. Things take time, we may need to take breaks along the way, projects even come to a halt. It’s all temporary and then the great wheels start turning again, we get back on the horse and we head back down the path.
Another good Netflix documentary to watch is Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru. That is a good starter.
Have a great week!