Healing my childhood through my boy’s childhood.

heart-387972__180

I’m lying on my bed with by boys.  I’m nursing Sam and blogging (of course) and watching a Disney movie with Arjan.  I love Disney so very much.  Most children movies out there have such great messages of healing, redemption, overcoming great obstacles, and believing in yourself and the power of your dreams.  If you really get deep and analyze some of the Disney films there is a definite metaphysical undercurrent.  Just listen to some of those songs.  Take that song “When You Wish Upon A Star” from Cinderella.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

Is that not the Law’s of the Universe?  The Law of Attraction?  If you follow your heart’s desire with all the passion within you, the Universe will rise up and meet you all the way and nothing can stop your destiny, not with Spirit backing you all the way.  Beautiful.

I could write a whole book on some of the movies and books out there for children these days.  They are magical, spiritual, and filled with love and kindness.

Even the cartoons are all educational and wrapped in lessons of compassion, true friendship, community, self-reflection, kindness, and helping others.  I don’t remember this in my childhood.  We had Bugs Bunny and his crazy crew.  There were a lot of anvils on the head and falling off cliffs, one character working hard toward the demise of another.  Tom and Jerry, Bugs and the Hunter, the Road Runner and the Coyote.  Lord, if we learned anything, it was that where there was a will to live there was a way…no matter how many times you were blown up.

I adore my boy’s childhood.  I didn’t have much of one.  I remember the cartoon, Porky Pig, and I don’t think there was any being read to.  My mother was much too intellectual for that or maybe it was the age.  In the 70’s women were still smoking and drinking through their pregnancies.  I look back and I’m just amazed us kids made it.  My cousins, friends, and I were left to our own devices often and not in the best situations, while the parents had too many cocktails and smoked hundreds of cigarettes, completely immersed in their big conversations.

I had a bleak childhood and my mother treated me like a grown up far before I even had a chance to go through the change of pubescence.  I was reprimanded for acting goofy, serious was expected.  Feelings were a luxury, laughter was a rarity.

When I spend a morning sipping my coffee and watching Sesame Street with my boys and getting way more out of it than they do, or when I read them countless fairytales, when we go to the park and I climb all the toys and slide down all the slides, when I cuddle them all night, or make up excuses to buy toys and go out for ice cream…I know that I’m living a childhood I didn’t have through them.

I am giving them a childhood I didn’t experience, but I am now and it’s very healing.  I am enjoying every minute of them being little and I’m already lamenting them growing out of all this.  I would have a baby every few years if I could just so I could have toys in my bathtub and an excuse to watch Disney for decades.  But these two are it.  I had my tubes tied and I’m 45 years old.  I don’t need to follow my great grandmother on the Italian side and have my last baby at 50.

I just need a few more years to be a child with my children.  To suck up every moment of fun as we skip through the forest and swing on the monkey bars.  I need excuses to bake cookies and watch Frozen 12 times (yes, my boys LOVED Frozen and I did several psycho analyzations on the characters).

My sons are the most beautiful things that have ever happened to me.  I had longed for them since I was 5 years old and when I turned 40 I thought that was a gone dream.  Now 5 years later I have these two and I look at them, smell them, squeeze them until they squeak just a little, and I want time to slow down.  I realize that I’m in the most precious time with them, this is when they are so innocent and sweet and I am their world.  They love their mama more than anything or anyone.  When I’m sitting in the grass and they are putting flowers in my hair and chanting, “Mama! Mama!”  I realize that it’s the first time I have ever been loved so deeply, so purely, so honestly.  My husband’s love is pretty deep and pure also, but nothing tops your own babies.

And having come from a rough life that had lacked much love for decades, both from outer and inner aspects, I know that these sons of mine have come to do their karmic job of healing their mother so she can laugh and be goofy for the remaining decades of her life.

Advertisements

8 comments

  1. Fary Tales are full of magical, universal wisdom…and children do understand it from a deep level…
    I remember healing my own inner child when I tought children from 3 to 5 years old many many years ago. I knew that that teaching years were meant to do the healing and reconnecting with my own small beeing. It worked that way for me… Many blessings to you and your little ones ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much! I’m also a musician… here’s my site, you can listen free to 2 of my albums on the first page and to some other music on youtube… it’s called MUSIKA MAGIKA…. I managed to translate a bit here 🙂 musikamagika.blogspot.it

    Liked by 1 person

    • I will! Just give me some time, I am in the process of two books, this blog…and you gave me a great idea by the way…
      I think I heard some of the music when I was on your sight and I enjoyed it. That is the best kind of music for background with children.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s