Well, I’m up again at one of my ridiculous hours. It’s Sunday and I’m up before 5 am. I really should live on a farm, although, the thought of going out in that cold to feed animals and milk cows sounds awful. I’d rather wake with the roosters…and stay in my cozy bed typing.
My thoughts today cover a range of things; how frugality and planned budgeting guarantees a better future, manifesting and how it works but not always how we think it will, and finding a home.
If all goes well, my husband and I will be buying our first home soon. We have dragged our two little ones all over the countryside looking at houses. This is no sudden event. We have been searching, preparing, pondering…for years and years. Two years ago I talked to an agent that gave me all kinds of great advice that helped me get ready for the big day and to clean up my husband’s credit. I have been doing my homework and prep work for the last two years after talking to him and his lender. I’ve pinched pennies, we’ve deposited every tax return into our savings account, worked with secured credit cards to build credit, and then I’ve done my hokey dream boards and wish boxes. Along with finally putting it in Gods hands after freaking out a few times.
What makes home buying so stressful for me? It’s finally having some money to do it and seeing that we are now sort of too late and priced out of this crazy market. It’s working hard to prepare and scrimp and save for years and then find that the time has come and what you have that would have been great 4 years ago is chump change now. As we all know, the housing market is once again crazy and headed for a head on collision. We can’t wait for the crash and burn and the inevitable sinking of many ships.
I decided it was time the same way I do all things in our life; I woke up one day and I just knew. I also looked around me at my family and my house and my neighborhood and the Universe gave me sign after sign after sign that it was time to leave. But where? We searched in this area for days (over a year but seriously for the past week) and I couldn’t find a decent home that wasn’t in the ghetto for our price. Very depressing. Then we had issues with the forms that delayed us. But the Universe…or God, works in mysterious ways and the delays gave me time to shift my ideas about what would be the perfect town for our family. I had some time to go explore other areas and shift my perspective as far as what would be the perfect place to have my family thrive.
I write books such as Queen of Penny Pinching and The Frunky and Frugal Housewife. I talk about living frugally and within your means and I have always discussed how your rent or mortgage can take up too much of your paycheck and how we should try and find affordable places to live even if we have to move to places we may not find meet our standards. Sometimes those working class neighborhoods or dusty towns have a hidden charm and community if we give them a chance. Sometimes the affluent neighborhoods that we think will be so peachy turn out to be lonely and cold.
This is where you have to let your instincts lead and listen to your heart. Logic and list don’t have a place in this job. For example; we found a house that was priced low and met so many of our wants. It needed work and no one was biting, it could have been ours. We even met some of the neighbors and my boys played with their children as they talked to us about the neighborhood and gave us the low down. It sounded so friendly and community oriented, the house had a lot of land and the work was doable. We could have created an oasis, it seemed to be everything on my list and all I’ve been trying to manifest. But as we drove off I didn’t feel good about it. I was distraught all night and felt hopeless. It just wasn’t our house and those nice people just weren’t our people. Who knows how it would have played out but my soul wasn’t jiving.
Yesterday I went to an open house that my realtor encouraged for days. I detest open houses and this house was down the street from the house I really want (but has a squatter issue that may go on for months). I was resistant and was going to send my husband alone because I knew that I didn’t want this house. No, I was going to wait for the house that was occupied by the squatter. Open houses are weird and annoying with you showing up and having to swirl around with all the competitors, each of you not wanting to make eye contact because you know you are all after the same prize and therefore can’t form alliances. It’s a swarm of rats on a new ship.
Then I woke up and had that feeling. Yes, that I had to go and check it out. I went, I saw, no one was there, I bonded with the realtor, I loved the house, it felt good and right. Turns out that house around the corner with the squatter could take a legal battle for months to get him out and we don’t have months. I made an offer and after I did I felt peace for the first time since we started this journey.
This house that I feel so good and right about is everything I said I would never agree to in a place that I said I would wait for hell to freeze over before living in and an area that I said I would never move to. It is all that is opposite of what I thought I wanted. How’s that for a game changer.
I wanted an old and charming home in a charming neighborhood in a charming town that is thriving. I wanted to live in the woods and mountains. What I got was a dusty and dilapidated town (with a lot of potential of course) and a newer model home in a suburban settlement in the middle of alfalfa fields. Lot’s of flat land for miles. And I’m actually excited about it. It feels quiet and peaceful and there is a two lane highway in and out with farms and orchards and funky little towns. The town is quiet and undiscovered as of yet and we will be living in a combination family/military neighborhood. Not what I had on my dream list.
Who knew? It is amazing when we get out of our own way. We may think we want one thing and then, low and behold, we wind up going the opposite way and loving it.
My wrap up for this discussion is this; when looking for a new home, husband, life, career…be open. When manifesting a desire…be open. What we think is best for us is not always so. Some things that are our destiny come in packages we are not expecting. Gifts come in unexpected ways and at times when we are totally unprepared. Don’t use logic and common sense. It will do you no good in the end, it just causes confusion and too much unnecessary thinking. Follow your heart and instincts. Go with those whispers of guidance that come in the quiet times or right when you wake up and are still not totally present in this world. Follow that “knowing”. I get that itch about things and I just know. I just know when it’s a good day for the thrift store, I just know when it’s a good day for sales or to travel or go house hunting. Don’t expect what you find and like to match your detailed list.
When it’s time you will know and go forth. You will become disconcerted and frustrated but try and let the heart lead. Your spirit is connected to the Source. It will guide you if you pay attention. Things will work out for your best. When wanting to manifest we put so much emphasis on the physical things but your soul wants the spiritual and emotional things. It will lead you to your highest good not the most fancy or expensive and shiny object.
All you need is the faith of a mustard seed.