What to do with toxic people.

cleansing

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5 comments

  1. It took us so long to learn that not everyone we liked was good for us. Heck, it took me a long time to figure out that the better I got along with the Redneck’s mother, the worse I got along with HIM! We love his family, yet we don’t keep in touch with them as much as they would like, simply because we live differently than they think we should. We began to see that we often made friends with couples where when we were with the husband, he talked about how bad the wife treated him, and the wife would tell us how bad he treated her. They wouldn’t contact us unless they wanted something (once a couple needed us to house the husband while he waited to go into a rehab. We lived in the mountains, so he had no access to anything. It was going okay, but then after the first week, the wife came and got him, because ‘HE needed to go and stand in line to get free Christmas gifts for the kids!’). One day I simply deleted people out of my phone, and left a message on one couple’s machine that we didn’t want to deal with them and their insanity anymore. The worst was when we had been working with a family, trying to affect their lives in a positive way. Instead, they infected out lives with their particular kind of crazy. We had been easing away from them for a long time, then found out that they had been arrested for animal neglect, and their kids taken away. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, but then when they were released a few months later, I got a voicemail saying that she wanted her stuff back. She had gotten it into her mind that I had taken all their stuff. I wouldn’t contact her, except to text her that her former landlord had the stuff. She tried for weeks to make me reply to her, or to force a confrontation, but I just refused to play her game. Then one day I got a letter from protective services that said I had been accused of neglecting my son, etc. I knew it was her. She thought that this would force me to stoop to her level. It took weeks to get that straightened out, and I was terrified that I would lose my son because of this woman’s evil. God was looking out for us though, and over 50 people from the community stepped forward and basically said, “OH HELL NO!”, including the regional Baptist mission supervisor!

    Needless to say that was the last straw. The Redneck and I have since kept mostly to ourselves. We socialize with our church, and there are a few families we go to lunch with and do things with, but after almost 8 years, we still don’t have any close friends. I have found that a few good folks in our lives occasionally (including my online community, like you, Katie girl) beats the heck out of a lot off crazy people constantly oozing chaos and toxicity.

    My, that was a tad cathartic–I’m gonna go declutter my closet now, toodles!

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    • Holy hell, that was a therapy session! Do you feel better? I used to try and “help” others when I was a mess myself. Then Bali happened and made me get rid of all the wacko do’s. He is sort of boring but then I got used to boring and now even the slightest smell of crazy is quickly cleaned up and put on the curb. So to speak.

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      • Why, yes I do feel better, thanks for asking! Honey, Bali may be boring, but is his mama gonna call you in the middle of the night to come bail her out for drunk driving? Or for throwing TWO cops ACROSS A LAWN? That was my ex husband’s mama. The Redneck is never boring–overly dramatic at times, and drives me nuts at others, but he is pretty good at ‘sniffing out the crazy’. Any time I have started forming a ‘friendship’ with a crazy, he has TRIED to tell me not to get any closer than polite interaction in public. Every time I have ignored him, it has turned out badly, and like I said, that last one had him telling me “Do NOT let those people get into our lives.” I was so hungry for a best friend, though, and I just kept getting in deeper. Now I’m so freaking ‘gun shy’ about making friends, I am overly cautious. Ah well, I have my little family, and I have my online community of homemakers who give me my daily dose of camaraderie.

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