Life is good and improving vastly as the days go by. I have had some epiphanies lately and each one has led to a transformation of consciousness and parts of my life.
The first moment came when I was falling apart and realized I had to change my health. Dieting is not a solution but food is medicine. Thus I am vegan today and loving it. It’s been months of trying new recipes, cutting out this, trying that, watching vegan chefs on YouTube, figuring out why the weight wasn’t coming off and overcoming myself in order to succeed. I’m not thin yet but I have begun to shrink.
The next was when I women asked if my boys were my grandchildren and then added insult to injury by doubting me when I said they were. “They are?” She responded with a surprised look that did not earn points with my good side. So, I realized that the Ivory soap and coconut oil routine, while it may be great for a young gal, needed to be replaced with something a bit hardcore. I now have amazing skincare and morning and night routines. With the combined plant-based diet, glycolic peels, and retinol I’m peeling away the years of neglect.
And that is what really bothered me, not so much the vanity of it all, but when you look at yourself in the mirror and see that you have sorely neglected you…for decades. Now I have all sorts of routines that are more about self-love and care than looking good for the masses so they don’t ask about my grandchildren anymore.
But the biggest and deepest work that is really reshaping my mind and days is the Course in Miracles and a little book called The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles.
I have fallen in love with YouTube, as many of you may have noticed. I had no idea how fun, or informative it was. I am educating myself on my vegan diet, new dishes, how to take care of my skin, my spiritual affairs, get motivated like never before, and listening to the greats like Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins, Abraham, Gabrielle Bernstein, Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer.
I am filling up daily with spiritual food. And a vlog led me to think about spirit guides and how to call them in and so I called, they came in and led me to my bookcase with an old copy of The Course in Miracles and today I am on lesson 36, “My holiness envelops everything I see.” So, here I am. Getting holy. But seriously, I have tried that book 4 or 5 times before over the past 2 decades with no luck and this time I will complete the year-long course, I can tell. It is time and I have suffered from my ego and all its fears and jealousies, it’s insecurities and paranoia. I am ready for peace and real joy. Not just happy and enjoying my coffee…I am ready for deep laughter from the bottom of my belly because life is not the problem, there is no real problem, only peace, acceptance of everything, even the world in its disarray and drama.
Surprisingly, the laughter is here already. I laugh deeply at ridiculous things now and it’s so fun. I’m becoming more playful and lighthearted which really helps in raising two boys that are vibrant and sensitive.
And creative! I am creating like crazy. I completely redid my kitchen by hand over the weekend. I’ll be posting that video soon. I am glad I didn’t think about it before I dove right in but I’m so pleased and delighted with my ability to let go and just make a huge mess and watch this wonderful thing come out of it. I’ve had control issues for my whole life. When you grow up with an unstable childhood you want to control everything because that is how you stayed safe. With the ego slowly going into remission like a nasty mind cancer, I am letting go of all the false “safeguards”. With that new found feeling of safety and peace, I’m learning to really play. If that means going into the kitchen for a cup of coffee one day and deciding it needs something new and that leads to removing cabinets, repainting in a new color, removing a frig, putting together a chopping block island and reworking the space until you smile from the inside out when you go in, a few days later, for a morning cup of coffee…then so be it.
We had some debt roll in with the tide and I decided to just dip into our sacred savings and pay it off to clear the energy. I know, hippy-dippy talk. But money is energy and I’m beginning to see just how it needs to be circulated, cleared, nurtured, encouraged. So, I started out fretting and then I just paid it all off and purchased a new frig and island for my new kitchen. It wasn’t a big extravagance but it made me feel rich and since then I have had all sorts of fun things come my way.
I’m relaxing into life. And now all that flow of abundance I was wondering where the heck it was, is coming in. My phone never rings and yesterday it rang all day with friends, neighbors, and a new friend from my YouTube community called to chat. I don’t have much activity but now I have all sorts of busyness going on. I sent another book to my editor, I hired a cleaning lady for once a month and I feel great! I am sending money out to help support others dreams and in return, I double my returns.
I highly suggest Wallace D. Wattles to anyone struggling with money issues. I know we all have different stories but this book, if read from beginning to end just makes sense. It is an old book so it takes a moment to warm up to what I call “old speak”.
I get it now and that is why I will not be doing any more “no spend” days, months, years. I talk abundance, live abundance, think abundance…and I tell you, it’s coming in. I feel life is turning and I’m really excited about it.
I highly suggest The Course in Miracles as well, but beware as it does bring up issues to worked through and not all the days are filled with sunshine and singing squirrels. But with each hard moment, if embraced and sat through, comes more light and peace.