Is it time to come home?

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I’m living the good life right now as I am still in my pj’s and in bed working on my writing with my Pandora playing my favorites, a half caf/decaf, and a husband washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. I did make the bed as I’m sort of a stickler about beds made and clean kitchens. The rest of the house is already a mess even after a full day of cleaning and tidying. It’s a small cottage and doesn’t take much to make it look as though a great wind blew through here.

I will bath and dress at some point, print out the Target cards I collected from the bank by earning points on my one and only credit card and stock up on toiletries. I need to also exchange inserts for my big scheduler from JoAnne’s.  I love my calendar book and even purchased those stickers to mark birthdays, holidays, paydays. I also use colored pens. Not that I have this bursting social life, nor do I want one, but with one child enrolled in an independent program through a charter school and the basics such as Chiropractic and the random doctor or dentist, all the birthdays I swore I would remember this year and send cards, and keeping track of allowances and good behavior, this justifies my fancy, stickered up, colorful book.

I have been decluttering the house, only to drag in other items from the garage and reclutter. I’ve also been getting rid of media in all forms except my YouTube Channel, email and this blog. I have no more FaceBook, deleted the account completely and boy did that feel good. I have had a love/hate with FaceBook for years and now I’m out! I deleted Instagram. I actually didn’t know I belonged until they sent me those “missing you” notes. I deleted Twitter which I never used, deleted LinkedIn, Tumblr, removed my blog from the mainstream. I have replaced it all with music, cake baking, attempting to grow things in my new little greenhouse despite this never-ending winter (which I’m grateful for, don’t get me wrong). I fill up on spiritual works or fun movies now.

Now instead of checking my media sites, my book stats, my YouTube comments, I read books, clean my house a little deeper, I sit and listen to my sons’ stories and ideas about life at ages five and seven. I have conversations on the phone…like, a house phone, OMG! I talk to myself while washing dishes, I create and play in my kitchen, making it into a cafe that is cozy and functional for my new adventure. I started the McDougall program yesterday and I’m relearning to cook without oil and fat. I am setting up my dehydrator to make kale chips today. We have a lot of greens in the kitchen garden, some unidentifiable but edible. I’m watching High Carb Hannah and Chef AJ right now to learn to eat without the sugar and oil…salt stays. So, cooking is being relearned and this is a very creative time for me. Not long ago I was vegan for a year and I learned how to veganize everything. It was so fun and the kids really got into cooking and baking with me. I even bought a children’s vegan cookbook that Sam and I still make cashew cream cheeses and granolas.

I also have a quilt to start and knitting to learn. I have some time to learn these winter sports before I will be busy out in the yard. Soon the days will be outdoors mulching, weeding, feeding, transplanting, reseeding…oh, and then the thrill of harvesting and canning. My summer is all planned out.

The outside world is nerve wracking to me these days. I don’t know if I’m getting older and weird or as my life at home becomes healthier and more peaceful, that the comparison of the rest of the world is an assault to my very being at times. I like to minimize my shopping and do it early with the roosters to avoid masses of humans. Now, I do like people, I love a good chat in the produce aisle and I’m very social, but only a few people at a time and I am very cautious of my conversations. Words have power and I take in all sorts of images, energy, and words to process for eons and if it’s a toxic product it could pollute my mind and spirit for years. I am careful about where I hang out, who I talk to and about what, where I go, what I watch, what I listen to and so on. I have created a bubble for myself and my whole family and we are thriving in our little greenhouse of spiritual joy and feasting.

At home I read Mrs. Sharon White and Connie Hultquist to remind me that staying home and nesting is not only fine but it is our natural state of being. In the old day’s families lived, worked, and played at home. Family and friends would stop by and there was Sunday church day, but other than that a homemaker would enjoy being at home tending to her chores, her garden, building up the pantry for winter, watching over her children and guiding them towards the light. There was a time to read the Good Book and a time to hang out the laundry.

I love the philosophy of Taoism. It is simply learning to flow with nature, the seasons, the inner hearts’ guidance. It does not preach or recruit, many of the followers of Taoism go off to the mountains to live in peace.

I have gone off to live in peace in my home. We live in an old part of town and it has its issues. I often desire to go off to the country and live again where it was quiet with a random tractor making its way slowly down the road. You woke with the rooster and the sunrise and went by the seasons. Life revolved around Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. Kids played outside all day and sometimes business in the home was slow enough to devour a good book.

Until we can make that dream come true, I just create country life and homesteading right here in my suburban home with my small backyard. I have two kitchen gardens now, one in the backyard filled with winter produce and one in the front being made ready for a bountiful summer garden of melons and tomatoes. We have 16 fruit, citrus, nut trees, and grape vines in our tiny patch of city land. I started canning last year and have everything I need to can a full pantry of goods this year.

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I fill the home these days with good smells from scratch cooking, sermons or rich music, and the warm glow of candles. My eldest homeschools and I sit with him at the large table learning to be the teacher. We all love to learn in this house. Arjan has a list of things he enjoys learning, Sam loves to cook and create recipes, I love anything to do with homemaking, fictional writing and homesteading. We read and talk endlessly. We paint and draw, color, and I make my occasional dream boards.

I have never had such a good life. I’m glad I worked so hard in offices, restaurants, and had awful commutes in my youth, it only gives me a great appreciation of what I have and how my life is today. I watch others around me struggle with too much work and stress, not enough time with children and friends. I see the traffic reports and I see so many unhappy people on the edge. I truly believe it is a combination of being heavily entrenched in the rat race of corporate jobs, unnaturally long hours in a cubicle, driving for hours in slow moving traffic, and all the crazy diets out there encouraging people to “starve” the weight off and eat packaged foods loaded with chemicals we can’t pronounce and our liver can’t process.  We are all bombarded with terrible news, too much media, and plastic ideas of reality.

People work too much and not in the fresh outdoors doing physical and satisfying work. Children are being forced into schools and long hours of boring drills and test at tender ages when they should be outside making mud pies for their dolls and building secret forts. Children are being shortchanged their childhoods all in the name of preparing them for colleges and futures they may not want. Adults are being shortchanged time with their families and a true and meaningful life to build an empire for some suit off in a corporate building behind a secret curtain like the OZ.

When are people going to wake up and take their lives back? Don’t buy that McMansion cause you won’t have any time in it, you’ll be too busy being a slave to your corporate office job to pay for the monster shelter. If you must commute, do it by train or bus so you can at least read a good novel on the way to and from. And read that paper novel and shut off that toxic media. I heard on the radio that people check their cell phones 80 times a day. I also heard that cell phones are seven times filthier than a toilet seat. Yes, so clean it and put it away and take those 80 times of checking on FaceBook and do something that is productive; meditate, read a book where you must turn the pages by hand, sketch a portrait, carry art supplies in that backpack and do art on the train.

Do all and everything you can to downsize your house, your bills, your mental and physical clutter, your work, your hours at work, your commute, and all that busy running around. Pull your kids from that public school if they are depressed and not thriving, pull yourself out of that soul-sucking job, move where the wind blows you, listen to the inner guidance, allow God to lead and provide. Be afraid but jump into the unknown. It may be tough at first, every good story has the hero or heroine being challenged and tested, but there is a happy ending here.

It’s 11:34 am on a Friday and I’m going to finish my bowl of beans and rice on my bed, take a shower, start some homeschooling with reading and painting, I will go to Target for fun and to stock up, read from the stack of books on my little table, start another fiction book, help my husband with finishing the front kitchen garden and cooking some Punjabi mung bean soup. The day will end with good food, some sitcoms I just love, and nightly rituals of teeth brushing and baths. I will cuddle my wee ones and read fairy tales and we will all sleep soundly. We have a cozy home with no leaks in the roof, Amen, and all our bills are paid, our mortgage is tiny, and cars paid off. We have a full pantry and everything we could possibly need to learn, play, grow, and thrive. It all cost very little and the “sacrifices” have been forgotten with all the delightful blessings and gifts this simple life has given us.

Is it time to come home?

 

 

 

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24 comments

  1. Gads, woman, you are beginning to have the same effect as Mrs. White–I read your blog and just get all these cozy feelings, and I want to curl up with a good book. Obie has been enjoying the soundtrack to The Phantom of the Opera musical. It was the first music he heard in my car when I first adopted him when he was only 3 1/2 years old. I am about to begin my afternoon cleaning routine and preparing for the weekend. I have been reading in At Mother’s House, one of the books you sent me–LOVE IT. I can’t thank you enough for such a thoughtful gift. I mailed your turnip seeds yesterday morning, you should get them next week. Okay, gotta go do some dishes and scrub a toilet or two.

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  2. I love that you are writing these blogs again, I love the way you live and believe in the art that you do. I am also a stay at home mother/wife who cannot imagine doing it any other way! Life is so fullfilling and only as stressful as you make it. You inspire and motivate me to keep living in this more “traditional” way. Keep it up!

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  3. Yes, yes and yes! Come on folks – join us at home, the water is fine!!

    Kate – I haven’t read much of Sharon White yet, just a few of her blogs, but I think I’m going to track her down via the library as I like reading your posts so much and Evelyn says you have the same effect. I do have ‘Everything but Money’ in order, waiting!! Thank you for this post. Have a great weekend.

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      • This is a subject that I have always felt to be very important. I missed being a stay at home mom while I raised my children. Having had to work to help support my family, working three part time jobs, to fill in where my husband’s job in construction lacked. I was thankful though that the skills I learned from my grandmothers and mother, help us through the 2008 economic disaster. With my husband fully out of work and suffering depression, I had to step in not only as a working mom, but as a home provider. Times were real tough and we watched many families fall. My children who are in their late 20’s have told me, that they learned valuable lessons from that time. They both reflect upon the times when we worked, played together, and hung in all contributing in some way. Today they are very successful and cautious with their spending. They cherish family and nature over expensive items and loud social events. They learned from our mistakes and gained knowledge from my parents who believed in “cash and carry” and having a stock pile of goods. My parents were the products of WWll rationing and my grandparents lived through the depression.
        I feel that more people need to learn how to live like this, so they can feel full of abundance. It truly scares me that so many that I work with and see are so miserable. If we should have another economic downturn or disaster, many will not be able to cope, as did so many in 2008.

        It is a time for change and a time to re-evaluate the importance of a stay at home parent.

        Love you posts and beliefs!

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      • This is so well put and what you share is so important. I feel so driven to encourage others to slow down, get rid of the stress, downsize…or big trouble will be upon them again and it will be devastating. Not to be a bummer.

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  4. Excellent post, Kate. I hope this post encourages women with children working outside the home to either quit their jobs if they can afford to or find a job that allows them to work at home, affording them at least some time to be with their children who need their mother at home. “Wants” will always be there…your children will not. Praying for all women to find the answer and the way for them.

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  5. This fed my soul to keep enjoying being what I was made to be as a woman – keeper of the home. I truly feel as though I’m living the life and your writing has a way of opening my eyes to the beauty of it even more!
    Thanks for writing this.

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  6. I loved this. Even though my child is a teenager, I still “long for home” and wish I had made different choices when my husband and I first got married so that I could have been a full-time homemaker.

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    • And you are not alone in that. So many wish they could go back. I feel really moved to get this message out, many women feel it’s not acceptable to stay home these days or people live way above thier means. I want others to think about this and make choices they will be happy with.

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  7. Hello kate I so enjoy the time you take to share your day and life with us🙂I also enjoy being a homemaker and wife and mother🙂that’s all I ever yearned to be and am happy that I can🙂I love my safe nest that my husband and I raised our children🙂it’s cozy and shabby chic and feels warm and fuzzy🙂we are blessed our grown daughter and hubby lives across the street from us🙂and most of all it was there idea to buy there cozy nest🙂our single son lives at homes and loves my cooking over take out!hes 24 and could live on his own but chooses to stay with us for now🙂not a problem he works a job and also helps around the yard and we love having him here🙂So we also have a safe world together and all enjoy being together!Cant get more blessed than that❤️

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  8. Thank you kate❤️Your such a beautiful soul🙂Your family is blessed to have you😘It’s a breath of fresh air to have all you homemakers to chime in and all be on the same page🙂In this crazy world we have right now!

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  9. Great post. I’ve been eliminating… or at least reducing my social media to free up time for things that matter. The rat race never seemed to get me very far. The life you describe is on my mind as well.

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    • Ah, and it’s wonderful. I used to have all this media to promote my books and it really made no difference but kept me busy checking, checking, checking all day. Now that it’s all gone, book sales are up and I have all this time to be with the boys, read, play. I feel so much more peaceful. I’m cutting even more because it feels so good.

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