The reality of homemaking.

Does it happen to all housewives at some time in their homemaking careers? The letting go of the perfectly tidy house? The relaxing with all the cleaning, the days of organizing, watching Flylady routines on YouTube to get ideas…or try and reinspire yourself?

Does a time come when you post a note on the fridge that says “Let It Go” and you take it as seriously as a Proverb in the Bible?

I feel busy with task and projects all day but I move slowly and methodically and at the end of the day the house is a mess (I mean this in the most creative way, of course) and in the morning there are dishes in the sink but the coffee was prepped and that seems pretty successful.

My children make cities with their blocks and legos all over my floors and are slowing taking over shelf space for dinosaur habitats. I’ve given up on home maintenance. My children are no longer little tots that sit and play with a small basket of big blocks that are easy to clean up or hours in a sandbox outside. No, they are big boys and their creations are huge messes. The table becomes an artist studio, the living room floor becomes the site of a small city. And clay…Lord, when the eldest decided to become a sculptor I foolishly let him do it in the dining room and at the end of the day, I moved that idea out to the patio.

When I search for cleaning and organizing inspiration on YouTube vlogs I see immaculate homes with nice little plastic bins from Dollar Tree where every little thing has its place. Fridges are organized and labeled from bologna to lettuce.

But is it always like this? Don’t these blogging, vlogging homemakers ever just say, “Forget it!” and just relax into the mess and enjoy the day? If you lived on Pinterest and Instagram, YouTube and Facebook, you begin to think everyone has a fabulous, rich, and perfect life, home, and lush garden.

I am in constant motion through the day; sweeping this room, washing out the bathroom sink, setting up storage shelves, watering the garden, cooking the main meal of the day, brewing a bit more coffee for the afternoon shift, yelling at the kids to clean up the legos after I’ve speared my foot yet again, and washing dishes for the second or third time…

And yet the house looks as if I’ve taken the back seat to chores. Perhaps I sit about watching soaps all day and let my children run amok? That is the look we have here.

Part of me enjoys this new me. I’m relaxed. I move slowly through my duties. I don’t worry about getting it all done in one day. I leave the mess for the next day. The kids are happy, I’m calm. I may have a sink full of dishes but I decide to go write some. Before I couldn’t even think about writing until all the dishes were washed, floors swept, house tidied. Lately, I feel I just may be able to write and create during a hurricane.

Then we take a road trip and I read some of Mrs. Sharon White’s Home Economics. I read many entries about taking pride in our housework and staying at our task and being hard working despite being tired or ill. I feel guilty.

When we return home I run the vacuum through the house and wash all the dishes.



21 thoughts on “The reality of homemaking.

  1. Well, your timing is great! I sit down to relax for a bit, and Voila!, a new post from Kate. This post reminds me of my time when my kids were small and busy with toys. The Legos!! The Little People! When I was pregnant with our twins I got myself a janitor’s push broom and at the end of the day swept myself a path to get to the kitchen (the dining room was the toy room) the next day. I kept repeating something an elder friend had said to me, “Toys are not dirt”. And now, the youngest is a senior in high school – enjoy these days, enjoy your little ones – it’s all temporary.

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  2. Yep relax enjoy the time with your kids! They grow so fast..mine are in their 40 s now.. I wish I could go back and just put the mop. Broom and vaccumme down and play with them..the house work will always be there the babies won’t..enjoy them while you can!

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  3. I think a home with children is meant to look “lived in.” Relax and enjoy the time with your littles! Mine is heading back to university next week, and I miss the days of Lego, tiny fingerprints over everything and even those colourful blobs of Play Dough.


  4. Dear Kate
    I had to give up the non-reality of perfection when my body rebelled and I became immobile. The universe cut short my career as a gold medal chef, I had to quit work, because I could no longer stand upright or walk.
    I now eagerly await the promise of a new hip and knee, yahoo. It comes however at a price. Work for me is a never more, but, I will no longer have to live 24-7 in a invalid chair in the living room.
    Had this never happened, I would never have discovered YouTube and all that it holds. I would have missed out on many wonderful people as yourself. Countless others, learning to homestead with young children at their side. Everyday life of homeschooling and trying to be super moms.
    If I won a lottery , I would bless them all, and give them enough to realize their dreams.
    Your on my short list…….
    Never change, I look forward to your day to day wisdom…

    Sent from Surface

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Kate you are quite the inspiration. I am living in the middle of san jose managing on one income when we had two and finding ways to keep everything normal and on track. I run an in home daycare for 12 and have a wonderful husband who has been laid off yet again. I cook from scratch and am always looking for ways to be creative and efficient. I look forward to reading your blog!


  6. I am not one who can clean and have an immaculate house every day and I don’t even have children to mess the house. I have always been one to just do as I like to do on any given day. Sometimes it means cleaning everything very well and the satisfaction that comes with that. Other days it means things slide until I’m up to it. I think one has to be easy going about such things and not run ragged doing everything so perfectly. Maybe you are starting to get that balance since you’ve slowed down to relax and enjoy a bit more.

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  7. By the way, the children and husband won’t remember whether everything was spotless every day. They will remember the love, the shared good times and peace that envelopes your home and your life together.

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  8. You know, I’m sorry but Mrs. Sharon White does things I do not agree with at all. I read her blog once where she said she noticed her husband was moody and not speaking and then she said she realized she had said something irritable to him and that is why he was in that mood. So, she made sure she resolved the situation in her manner of talking or something like that. I am a Christian and love my husband but that was absurd. If he gets his feelings hurt that easily, he has the problem, not her. I don’t read her stuff anymore. There is Christian submission as the Bible teaches, but that is ridiculous! I believe she takes a lot of things too far. You, however, I can see where you are strong and are the head of the house, but in the end Bali has the last word. That is submission but your say is still considered. I think you are like all of us. We test the waters with our husbands, try new ideas/thoughts and try them out on our husbands, dream for a better life even when we may be where we are supposed to be and love our kids. I think I told you this before, but I used to visit my Granny and wanted to clean her home. She used to tell me to sit down and talk to her. She said, β€œThis old house will be here long after I’m gone.” She was right, of course. That old house will be there long after your boys are gone. You can’t get back those precious moments.


    1. I don’t agree with some things with Mrs Sharon White or Connie Hultquist and I was so not raised in those ways, but I just take what I like and leave the rest, not taking them too seriously. I could not be with a sensitive man as I’m not much of a lady, lol.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. I always remember a fridge magnet I saw 20 years ago that read: dull women have immaculate houses.

    Oh the washing up, it’s what comes when you have home-cooked meals. In my opinion, good food is a priority. I used to wash up all the time but realised I was missing out on my kids, the cuddles and the movies. Now I quickly rinse and do the washing up in 20 mins at the end of the day.

    Houses are messy when you have happy children. I ask the kids to tidy a little bit and give them a chocolate button. Not sure how long that’ll last though.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My eldest son has just left for agricultural college again after the holidays, my daughter moved out 4 years ago, my 16 year old is a reasonably tidy soul….thank goodness for my youngest! Sharp Lego hidden in the flossy carpet, Donald Duck magazines spead about, a little mobile film-studio on 1/3 of my kitchen table. Oh I am so glad I still have this little fellow playing throughout the house! Homes are to be lived in, laughed in and loved in. The perfect homemaker doesn’t exist in my opinion, because if the house is always perfect, then something else is missing. Pam x

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I have a little piece of paper above my sink that says, “thank God for dirty dishes, they have a tale to tell. While other folks go hungry, we are eating very well.”
    This is my constant reminder that we have many blessings in our home that many others do not.

    Liked by 1 person

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