Overcoming the desire to spend on a no spend.

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We have begun a year of intense saving and not spending on extras. We are still in limbo with a second home and I’m becoming disenchanted as I sign an extension for another 24 days of escrow while we are still waiting on an appraisal and other inspections.

It was exciting and simple a couple weeks ago. We were in escrow and I was studying paint chips. Now this and that has gone awry and the seller has no money and is unfairly demanding, the seller’s broker has hinted that the stress of this deal is wearing on the realtor, who is a bit elderly, and it seems that the stress is also bringing about some dementia according to my realtor. We have gone to the house and repaired flooring and installed smoke detectors and such to help pass the appraisal but some idiot stole the Smart Meter and that led to needing an electrician then the county had to come and inspect things and that led to being tagged for not being up to code and more electrical work…then the electrician stopped work because he wasn’t getting paid and the seller balked about having no money and asked that we pay half. My realtor took it out of her commission to play it safe in case the deal goes South and we will pay her privately if it all goes through…and that brings us all back to the realtor with early onset dementia and still no electrician and no appraisal. And going on month two with this circus.

So, I’m not feeling the joy and enthusiasm at this point and then Iran and the US decided to tangle and gas prices are going up…

What to do? Stay put. Get the heck out of Dodge. Stay with a small mortgage and kitchen gardens. Go and farm an acre…well, maybe only 1/4 acre, but still a lot. Stay in town and walk everywhere to avoid gas prices. Move to the forest and avoid masses of nervous people. Rent the cottage. Sell the cottage to help with the forest home.

Then Bali has a new boss. Good guy but got in over his head and is barely keeping his head above water with his gas station and now we have gas prices rising. Bali could easily just work full time up in the forest town for a boss he’s worked part-time for a year or more. This boss has many stations and stores so lack of work wouldn’t be a problem. Or Bali could stay with the new boss and see it through until he is on his feet.

Back to the cottage. Sell it to fund the forest home or deal with tenants.

This is my mind these days. Forest…or stay in a town I’m not crazy about…run to the forest?

Now, the smart thing to do without even thinking about it is to stay put. We have a small mortgage and fruit trees, gardens and know the neighbors. We can walk everywhere and to everything and could easily live without a car.

But that is not the dream. The dream of living in a forest with nice neighbors, farms, creative folk about. To be 8 miles from a few of my favorite, charming villages. To be close to friends and the boy’s playmates and schools. To feel peaceful, almost Zenlike with the clean air and water, the many beautiful hiking trails and rivers, the small old western towns nestled in the mountains. To live with the turkeys and coyotes, the bears and wood critters.

It just can’t always be about money and what will be the cheapest and smartest way. I just can’t live that way! I listen to the heart, the quiet whisperings of Spirit’s guidance. I believe in the Metaphysical…not always the rational.

In the meantime, I talk to myself, I go to bed early to visualize what story feels the best. I spend most days in the kitchen with candlelight, Pandora playing my Michael Franti, and making homemade pizzas, tortillas, enchilada soups. I love watching Life According to Jim and 3rd Rock From The Sun on the TV in the bedroom while I make the bed, fold laundry and sweep the room. I light candles everywhere and I have music on or TV or both. I know it is a way to distract myself. And I must. I must put it all in God’s hands and see how it plays out. That is really the wise thing to do in the end.

Today I was bored. It is the first time I’ve felt like this in ages. I wanted to take a drive. To go out to lunch. I wanted to go to a nice, clean, big thrift store and spend hundreds of dollars. I wanted to shop and buy everything! bedding, clothes, candles, rugs, things I don’t even need!

Instead, I made a vlog I deleted when I realized I just needed to talk for the purpose of therapy. I made onions and potatoes. Read more pages of The Complete Tightwad. The day is almost gone and we are now safe as night is here and I can go to bed and sleep it off, so to speak.

It is like a newly sober person that wants to run to the nearest pub and guzzle pints of cold beer or a hardcore dieter who wants to go to Sizzler and just lay her body on the buffet table and gorge on fake cheese dip and soft-serve ice cream. I want to spend and eat and run about and be wasteful to distract myself as I wait for the Universes verdict and guidance.

I’m in my pj’s with the dogs laying close by. I have the Tightwad on my lap and will read it with some Chamomile tea. Tomorrow I have made a schedule to keep me off the streets and out of trouble. I will make bread. Lots and lots of homemade, hand made bread…wheat…white…and not use the bread maker, I’ll use my hands to kneed the dough because that will keep me occupied. I will also make a simple vegetable soup with leftover rice and frozen vegetables. Maybe clean the toilet, fold yet another load of laundry and watch my old sitcoms if the antenna doesn’t act up.

Another day, another dollar saved. Another rash decision avoided.

26 thoughts on “Overcoming the desire to spend on a no spend.

  1. Waiting is the hardest thing to do. When we got this house, I told God I would leave it in His hands and if things were meant to be, everything would fall into place. Everything went through like clockwork with no issues and quickly. Not what you want to hear, but if you try to push something that’s not meant to be, then things will be hard when you get it. I think the perfect place will fall into your lap….this may not be it. Sorry, just what my heart is telling me right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh. I was so hoping to see the house come together for you. The wait must be the worse. We had been on a news blackout because I overdosed everyone with the impeachment. The actions in Iran has me losing sleep. I have been putting on 70’s sitcoms, and been having the kids do mediation with a kid program .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s not bring politics in to this . No need for it . I enjoy ‘ coffee with Kate’ because it gets us away from all that mess !!
      Kate, in regards to the house have faith. It will happen if God permits…and I look so forward to reading your blogs. Keep up the good work

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, absolutely. I was so blocked out of the news I was stunned. The news came at a very mindful time for me as I was giving birth to my daughter 27 years ago her father was just coming out of the Middle East conflict, and now she is giving birth as we are again. It makes one pause….

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I hope you find peace, wherever you end up living.
    I would like to move away from the city to a country area. I am so tired of traffic and crowds and noise. I want to go for walks along tree and bush lined paths instead of paths lined with houses. But I worry that if I leave my home I will find that the country is not all I hope it would be. I worry that I might be trying to move away from the things I don’t like in my life rather than the actual place where I live, and I could find myself with the same problems in a new and strange area.
    And wherever I moved, there would be the danger of bushfires every summer. I live in Australia, and right now many areas are burning out of control. In fact, bushfires started in spring last year in some parts of Australia and there have been fires burning ever since. I’m not sure I could live with the fear of fire every summer. So for now I stay put in my home in the suburbs and try to work through my problems so that if I do move I will not be taking my problems with me.


    1. Its so hard to know if we’re not just imagining a better life! I didn’t travel for years because I thought I would just be running away from my problems. But when I finally did it it changed my life for the better.

      I guess you could move but come back if you don’t like it? Better than not trying things?


  4. Well done for not spending Kate, I would have caved. It’s helpful to see it as an addiction, I always find ways to justify buying stuff I don’t need.

    My Jewish part of the family says that the dreams in your heart are put there by God. You come alive when you talk about this house in the forest.

    It’s very easy to talk about faith when things are going smoothly but to have faith in this very stressful instance will be good exercise. I was in a mess with my job and gave it to God and he found a way out that I would never have come up with. He’ll come through for you. Hold on, moving house is never easy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is the best advice so far. It is true, just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean it isn’t meant to be. I do come alive when I think about it up there. I feel heavy and blue when I think of staying here…despite it being perhaps the “rational” thing.


      1. Maybe you should try to sell your present home and not own two homes- even if you do rent out the cottage it is very stressful being a landlord . At least if you sell the cottage you will have more money to put towards a new home . Just a thought.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi, sweetie. It seems you are in a tangled web “not” of your doing, been there. I usually just bide my time till things start to untangle and then deal with one thing at a time. As far as the spending, I think it is just wanting to get away from the problems, so I will just go for a drive or a long walk. So sorry for the property problems.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I know waiting is hard but maybe this is not meant to be..It just seems like a lot of mess from the seller , you have already paid for things in a house that is not even yours yet.. How much more are you going to have to do? Plus it will be costing you more money for this house when you already have a beautiful little home and garden that fills you and gives you more than enough with your gardens..I just think there is something WAY better waiting for you.. You are already Blessed and I just see a lot more problems on the way with this new house.. Love ya Kate and I know it will all work out just as it is meant to…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hang in there Kate! It’s the hardest thing to let go of outcomes. But everything will be the way it’s supposed to be in the end.
    Love and light to you xo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I stumbled upon your vlog one day and absolutely fell in love with you and your young family. I have lived in the countryside since 1976 and I understand the reasoning behind your longing of nature. I am saying a prayer for you everyday that your dreams and needs will be met with your new soon to be house. Bless you and your family.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thank you for the update. I really enjoyed the comment above from Rachel “ My Jewish part of the family says that the dreams in your heart are put there by God. ”. What a lovely phrase and concept.

    And I agree with other comments that everything will work out as intended, you just have to hold on to your patience ;). I remember another phrase I read “ you can not calm the storm, you can only calm yourself”. Your blog today reminded me of that phrase.

    I have my fingers crossed for you,

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This came at the perfect time for me, thank you! I just ordered a bunch of stuff and am feeling guilty already. Enough is enough! I can always count on you for positive encouragement ❤️

    I’ll continue to send you those groovy vibes to help with the finalization of your house, new house or not. The waiting is the worst. It’s so good that you have left the decision in God’s hands. I need to practice your level of faith!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Loved this post for many reasons. You have a wonderful writing style, and it was raw and real. You definitely won the battle today, and saved money for a future home, whereever it will be. If you don’t get this one, you WILL get another. Stay strong, and know you have a lot of people praying for you. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Glad I found your blog! Your writing is vivid and relateable. I so understand the need to fill the void with excess (whatever that may be, spending…food…alcohol. I hope the house thing comes together for you!

    Liked by 1 person

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