We have begun a year of intense saving and not spending on extras. We are still in limbo with a second home and I’m becoming disenchanted as I sign an extension for another 24 days of escrow while we are still waiting on an appraisal and other inspections.
It was exciting and simple a couple weeks ago. We were in escrow and I was studying paint chips. Now this and that has gone awry and the seller has no money and is unfairly demanding, the seller’s broker has hinted that the stress of this deal is wearing on the realtor, who is a bit elderly, and it seems that the stress is also bringing about some dementia according to my realtor. We have gone to the house and repaired flooring and installed smoke detectors and such to help pass the appraisal but some idiot stole the Smart Meter and that led to needing an electrician then the county had to come and inspect things and that led to being tagged for not being up to code and more electrical work…then the electrician stopped work because he wasn’t getting paid and the seller balked about having no money and asked that we pay half. My realtor took it out of her commission to play it safe in case the deal goes South and we will pay her privately if it all goes through…and that brings us all back to the realtor with early onset dementia and still no electrician and no appraisal. And going on month two with this circus.
So, I’m not feeling the joy and enthusiasm at this point and then Iran and the US decided to tangle and gas prices are going up…
What to do? Stay put. Get the heck out of Dodge. Stay with a small mortgage and kitchen gardens. Go and farm an acre…well, maybe only 1/4 acre, but still a lot. Stay in town and walk everywhere to avoid gas prices. Move to the forest and avoid masses of nervous people. Rent the cottage. Sell the cottage to help with the forest home.
Then Bali has a new boss. Good guy but got in over his head and is barely keeping his head above water with his gas station and now we have gas prices rising. Bali could easily just work full time up in the forest town for a boss he’s worked part-time for a year or more. This boss has many stations and stores so lack of work wouldn’t be a problem. Or Bali could stay with the new boss and see it through until he is on his feet.
Back to the cottage. Sell it to fund the forest home or deal with tenants.
This is my mind these days. Forest…or stay in a town I’m not crazy about…run to the forest?
Now, the smart thing to do without even thinking about it is to stay put. We have a small mortgage and fruit trees, gardens and know the neighbors. We can walk everywhere and to everything and could easily live without a car.
But that is not the dream. The dream of living in a forest with nice neighbors, farms, creative folk about. To be 8 miles from a few of my favorite, charming villages. To be close to friends and the boy’s playmates and schools. To feel peaceful, almost Zenlike with the clean air and water, the many beautiful hiking trails and rivers, the small old western towns nestled in the mountains. To live with the turkeys and coyotes, the bears and wood critters.
It just can’t always be about money and what will be the cheapest and smartest way. I just can’t live that way! I listen to the heart, the quiet whisperings of Spirit’s guidance. I believe in the Metaphysical…not always the rational.
In the meantime, I talk to myself, I go to bed early to visualize what story feels the best. I spend most days in the kitchen with candlelight, Pandora playing my Michael Franti, and making homemade pizzas, tortillas, enchilada soups. I love watching Life According to Jim and 3rd Rock From The Sun on the TV in the bedroom while I make the bed, fold laundry and sweep the room. I light candles everywhere and I have music on or TV or both. I know it is a way to distract myself. And I must. I must put it all in God’s hands and see how it plays out. That is really the wise thing to do in the end.
Today I was bored. It is the first time I’ve felt like this in ages. I wanted to take a drive. To go out to lunch. I wanted to go to a nice, clean, big thrift store and spend hundreds of dollars. I wanted to shop and buy everything! bedding, clothes, candles, rugs, things I don’t even need!
Instead, I made a vlog I deleted when I realized I just needed to talk for the purpose of therapy. I made onions and potatoes. Read more pages of The Complete Tightwad. The day is almost gone and we are now safe as night is here and I can go to bed and sleep it off, so to speak.
It is like a newly sober person that wants to run to the nearest pub and guzzle pints of cold beer or a hardcore dieter who wants to go to Sizzler and just lay her body on the buffet table and gorge on fake cheese dip and soft-serve ice cream. I want to spend and eat and run about and be wasteful to distract myself as I wait for the Universes verdict and guidance.
I’m in my pj’s with the dogs laying close by. I have the Tightwad on my lap and will read it with some Chamomile tea. Tomorrow I have made a schedule to keep me off the streets and out of trouble. I will make bread. Lots and lots of homemade, hand made bread…wheat…white…and not use the bread maker, I’ll use my hands to kneed the dough because that will keep me occupied. I will also make a simple vegetable soup with leftover rice and frozen vegetables. Maybe clean the toilet, fold yet another load of laundry and watch my old sitcoms if the antenna doesn’t act up.
Another day, another dollar saved. Another rash decision avoided.