Time for more challenges. Let’s lose weight and save money!

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I did a self-created 40 day challenge a while back.  Made all kinds of goals and came out a winner times 10!  I find that short-term and intense challenges are the magic bullet for getting and staying motivated.  We get so amped up for a goal and then we plod along like a horse and buggy on a Sunday drive and get bored from the beginning.  But if you charge into the goal and immerse yourself mind, body, and soul and you make huge changes from the start…you just might reach the finish line.

We like seeing big results and fast don’t we?  I do.  I’ve been setting some challenges here and there and it improved my health and family life but it was the last one that I set for 40 days for the fun of it that resulted in huge changes.  I made changes to the way we eat, save money, we purchased a fixer upper, I got into the habit of exercising daily, and many other things.  I wrote about it.  I won’t bore those of you that read it already.

The last couple months have been consumed with buying a new home, scrubbing, painting, renovating, packing, moving, more cleaning, unpacking, more renovating…

We are still at it.  Just washed the windows the other evening and as the morning sun hit the glass this morning I see that I did a less than decent job.  In my defense, these windows probably haven’t been washed in years and years and so I just smeared the dirt around in pretty swirls.  I have a back door to paint and the old wood floors that need a little work.  I have a big garden bed planted but need to get the other one filled and planted.  Oh, and I need a clothes line.  Other than that I have actually had time to start writing and thinking again.

I’m inspired to start a few challenges for the next 3 months.  I’m choosing a bit longer for a challenge this time because the few things I want to accomplish, along with a few little things, will take about that much time to really get some results.

I would like to lose 30 pounds of this jiggly jelly (because jam don’t shake like that).  I have no delusions of a bikini body, nor do I care.  I have a husband that is pleased with my plump form and I’ve grown two babies in this sturdy body and nursed them both at my bosom.  I just want to feel a bit lighter and have less weight on my frame.  I have gained some weight with all the drive thru we ate while moving and working on this place and I have crossed that line of comfortably plump and having to wear my spouse’s jeans.

The other project I’d like to work on is the budget.  I have encouraged Bali to take two days off a week.  He has been working 6 days a week and 60 to 70 hours for years and years.  We miss him and I feel like I’m raising a family alone.  To my surprise, he changed his schedule the minute we moved into this house.  I’m thrilled and it also means that we have $700 less coming in so a new and tight budget is in order.

I have one last project.  My fictional books.  I’m really lagging but as of yesterday and a day of much needed rest, I feel reinspired and am back at it.  I have called my friend and editor and promise a rough draft next week just to keep me on task.

So, to sum it up: start losing weight and getting stronger.  Create a working budget and get back into a frugal mode and grocery envelopes.  To produce at least one fictional book this summer.

How will I achieve these goals?

For the diet, I find that a low carb way with tons of veggies, protein and fat works best.  I can’t stand recording, weighing, counting, or thinking about the diet.  I need to eat when I’m hungry and feel satisfied.  I’m very active, still nursing, exercising, walking everywhere…I get HUNGRY!  I can’t lose weight with sugar or starch or flour.  Just can’t.  So, I have to get into a mode of commitment to not having it at all.  It’s an addiction and just like with all addictions, you have to set your mind, commit and never look back, never cheat, just keep looking forward at the goal.  Eye on the prize.

I love to exercise and if that was where the 80% success came I’d be thin as a rail.  I already do half an hour on the tread climber daily and every other day I do a weight strengthening routine from head to toe.  I haven’t in weeks due to moving but I got on the tread climber yesterday and today so we are back!

I already wrote up a complete budget and cut out all the extras such as Netflix, Pureflix, and I reduced some of my donations.  I won’t give up my donations but I cut some in half.  I also cut out an insurance that was really just a rip-off and I got talked into.  We have all sorts of the important insurances already.  My internet, phone, cell…they are all reduced to the minimum and my cable is in a contract.  Besides, I couldn’t get the antennae to work and we have to have some TV.  I’m a little scared of the next water bill, that will need some improving I know.

I’ve started back on my book and I will work each morning with my coffee.  I try to put in a couple hours of just devoted work.  I have also set a date for completion to put the pressure on.  Writing with some pressure is good, less time to think and criticise my work.

 

 

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Ishmael

Ishmael by [Devereux, Katherine R.]

Ishmael is a novella about a girl heading down the wrong path and her relationship with her father that has gone sour over the years when a stranger arrives through odd circumstances.  This stranger is going to change their lives for the better…

This is about real life and the world we know nothing about that works its magic in unseen ways.

Free all week.  Enjoy.

Time to get back to writing…but how?

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I’ve recently moved to my very first home that my family and I bought and own.  It’s been a production of work, moving, settling in, meeting neighbors, hanging paintings, planting trees, joining homeschool groups, and a million other task both fun and exhausting.

And now we are getting to the part where I have to put the drill and shovel down and get back to my mini-career of writing.  I have a book half finished, a book or two started and an editor that is getting tired of waiting on me.

But I find so many things that just must get done each day before I can sit down and write!  Right?

I had every writer’s fear when moving to this new home, “will I be able to write there?”  I did some major writing work at the old house we just moved from.  When we moved in and once we were settled in and had toured our surrounding area, I sat down one day and this inspiration came out of me that I had only felt a couple times in the past.  And it never left.  I wrote book after book after book and then I challenged myself with fiction and did a few of those books.  I started blogging a year ago this month and, though I was not into the idea, I grew to love it.  Mostly to fill in the lonelies and be able to share with others when I had no adult to converse with.

Now I’m here and I had some fear around being inspired but then I remembered that I need to settle in first, navigate my new land second and then, and only then can I sit and write again.  I also realized by the second or third night that, yes, I would be inspired here.  But my writing will take a different course now.  It has changed so much over the two years and now I’m focused on fiction.  I have a feeling I will be inspired to write many good stories here.

This house is old and has a wonderful energy.  It’s been through a lot and survived.  It’s been abandoned for years and kept itself together where other homes would have fallen apart.  It is so grateful and joyous to have us here filling it with baking, chitter chatter, drama, coffee brewing, laughing, and constant work and cleaning.  We have filled its yards with roses, plants, trees, and gardens and we have painted it with delightful colors and fixed all its broken parts.  We have soothed it, washed it, thanked it and we have grown in skills and patience, pride and thrift.

I believe that it will support me in my journey toward the written make believe.  And my neighbors alone have given me food for thought.  There are some stories right there.

Then the next morning as if in response and answer to my question of being able to thrive in my new career of fictional writing, the old house gave me a gift.

I had plugged in my speakers to my laptop and started up Pandora.  I hadn’t listened to my online station since moving.  I had an old radio I listened to for the last 3 weeks.  I have all sorts of Christian gospel and contemporary, country, Indian, and Disney on there.  I have tons of stations but these are the ones I have on shuffle right now.  But on this particular morning, Pandora played a long list of show tunes, old musicals, and music from old movies.  I had to check to see if I was even on shuffle and what station it was coming from.  I hadn’t heard any of these songs ever!  Then I looked up some of the musicals and found that many were from the 1950’s!  Was it the old house playing some choices for me?  Who knows.  I believe old houses have souls.  How could they not?  With all the people that have lived in them.

What is even more bizarre is that I’ve never heard the songs again since that morning.  My Pandora is back to its old list.  So, there is my answer.  I think my writing career will be supported just fine.

 

Becoming a self taught writer.

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I’ve been writing seriously for one year and 9 months to be precise.  It started with writing Queen of Penny Pinching towards the end of a summer and never stopped.  I have written something like 15 books since then.

What I have learned on my own in the almost two years is amazing and I keep learning and being reinspired all the time.  I have learned how to self-publish, create book covers, market and promote, even edit and proofread (not suggested at all) my books and all completely for free.  I had to at one point because I was cranking out the books and we had no budget for that.  I found a side of myself that was very industrious and clever.  I also started blogging a year ago and found that I love it although it hasn’t really promoted my books as I had dreamt of. What the blogging does is provide me with an almost daily writing exercise and a fun and quick outlet.  Not to mention connections to bloggers and readers around the world.  Talk about your small world opening up.

I also started blogging a year ago and found that I love it although it hasn’t really promoted my books as I had dreamt of. What the blogging does is provide me with an almost daily writing exercise and a fun and quick outlet.  Not to mention connections to bloggers and readers around the world.  Talk about your small world opening up.

So, now I’ve taken my work and turned it into a career.  I’m still new and not fabulously popular or lucrative, however, a year ago a would sell a book every couple weeks and now I sell 10 to 18 a day on the average.  I’m pleased with this growth.  It may be slow but who won the race?  That’s right, the tortoise.  My blog used to get an average of 0 to 3 persons and now I easily have around 25 visitors or more a day.  But what I really love is that each person who visits my site stays and reads several of my articles.  What that means to me is that I have something to offer people.  I know that pleasure of finding a good blog that offers so many ideas and inspiration.  I love it when I can give that to another.

I’m on to another writing career move.  Fiction.  I’ve produced 4 fictional books and created a pen name.  I’ve had to rework some of my books, actually completely deleted one, started several others that are still waiting on me, wrote one that I will never publish unless I get the energy to rewrite, and I have a notebook full of ideas and themes.  One of my books is getting some positive feedback, one horrible review, and then the other books seem to have become invisible in the millions of books on amazon.

I am having more fun with the getting there.  It’s the journey that makes the story right?  I have never written fiction before the few books I have out there.   I have taken one English course in college that I never completed and, honestly, the last romantic fiction I devoured was the Twilight series.  But I have a curriculum all planned out!

I found these wonderful books on screenplay writing:

I don’t plan on writing a screenplay, however, when I write fiction I find that I play a movie in my head complete with themed music while I write.  I love these books so far because they really break down the whole story idea.  I’m learning how to really build a character, intensify the drama, structure the whole story to grip the reader and keep them absorbed.

You know what else helps?  Analyzing movies.  You can learn so much from watching movies if you have learned the art of dissecting them.  You want to get into the psychology of the characters, what drives them, what makes them who they are, the way they are, and what makes them tick…or fail to tick?  Then you want to see how other characters around them support the hero and help the story move along or make it richer, more funny, more intense.

Guess what else helps?  Music.  Isn’t music what can really help a movie go from a 3 star to a 5 star?  I think so.  Obviously, you can’t add music to your novel…not yet.  But I love to listen to it as I work and I try to listen to theme related tunes as I write a scene.  When I wrote A Farmer’s Widow there was a lot of Rascal Flats and Lady Antebellum.  City scenes get a different beat.  I see the moment and hear the music and write as fast as my little paws can go.  I even put ideas for what music to listen to while reading that book in the beginning.  Perhaps that was odd.  But why not?  Why not put songs that go well with the chapter at the top of each chapter?  That would set the mood.

I have read books on writing and the only one I like was Steven Kings ‘On Writing’.  Great ideas in there.  I read mostly just the middle of the book.

There are a few ways to write.  One is to find an idea and then just sit down and write as fast and much as you can to let it come out and together and before the insecurities start nagging you.  This was inspired by Steven King partly.  He calls it “finding the fossil and then digging”.  I tried this and it works for a chapter, however, I find that I need to have an outline to work from.

So, the other way is to get an idea, write a pitch for the story, preferably a paragraph, choose names for the main characters, and then break down all the chapters and what will occur in each one all the way to the end.  This works great but you must be very flexible because whole chapters can morph into a very different direction than what you had originally intended to happen.  Sometimes there wind up being more chapters, less chapters, even character names may change and their purpose as you get to know them.  I have started out with a villain becoming the heroine or a weak character becoming the main focus.

When you get an idea you think up characters to play it all out.  You come up with the rise and fall of the drama, the obstacles and ways to have those obstacles make the stars shine.  However, as you get deep into the story it will actually take you on the journey and start telling itself.  The characters will begin to reveal themselves and you have to just go with it.

That is why writing fast and furious is the way to go. No time to stop that flow, that unexpected twist, the really getting to know your star.  And no time for doubt and fear.  Outta’ the way!  We’re too busy!  Can’t stop!  Leave the sandwich by the door!  You call out.  Well, I don’t say that because I’m the one making the sandwiches and I definitely can’t have a door shut with two little ones.  No, I get up at 4:00 am and write like crazy until a little person wakes up and finds that I’ve left the family bed and searches me out to demand that I get back into bed to cuddle!

As I get more and more into these books I will share the info.  It’s some good stuff on building the stories and people.  I’ve already gotten some great ideas for the “buddies” and what their purpose could be for propelling the story forward.  Every star has a sidekick that is instrumental for keeping the momentum and helping us understand our hero.

I good movie to leave you with, It Happened One Night with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert.  It’s a classic and a great idea for how a romantic comedy might be structured.  We have left the innocent and playful romantic comedy behind but maybe it’s time to lighten up again with all the political drama going on right now.  Why, the whole drama with Trump and our government is what a Monty Python is made of right there!

 

Why blogging is great therapy.

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Why do I blog?  It certainly isn’t for money.  I’ve made around .50 cents over the last so many months in advertising.  I originally started blogging to promote my books.  I was so resistant to doing it but on the gentle nudge of a friend, I did some pondering and then started the blogging.

A funny thing happened.  I didn’t get famous or suddenly find myself with a gigantic following.  I didn’t even make any money and my books didn’t get a huge boost.  Why did I continue?  Because it turned out that I needed to talk.  I needed to share and give unsolicited advice.  I wanted to talk about all sorts of ideas, tips, and so many things I was investigating.  I love sharing.  There is nothing better than a cup of steaming, creamy morning coffee, and a chat.

I’m a housewife in a fairly new town for us.  I live in a huge city and moved here a couple years back as a homemaker with two little ones and I didn’t get the chance to get out there and work, make friends, be a part of a community like I did in other towns I lived.  I tried the mom and tot groups and didn’t enjoy them.  I tried homeschooling groups and found them demanding.  I decided that I had enough friends already and I would just have to travel when I missed them.  I don’t really have enough steam to build new relationships right now.  I am raising humans, dogs, a husband.  I am busy keeping a home in order and nurturing my family.

But I’m a thinker and a talker and I’ve got ideas all day long.  Talking to myself gets boring.  No one really wants my advice and I’m probably a bore to most (talking about homemade laundry detergent and homeschooling gets old real fast).  So, I was inspired to write a book.  I figured out how to self-publish for free and then I wrote another book.  And another.  This kept happening and then I started blogging.  Blogging is like having a chat every day with your best friend and you get to pick the topic and talk all you want.  It is a great way to figure out your life and to give advice you feel will help others and not have the person hang up on you.  People can take your advice…or not and you never know so you’re never offended.

Blogging can be a very cheap way to express yourself, find your tribe out there all over the world, to share your valuable knowledge, tips, and tricks.  I love reading blogs by other homemakers for some inspiration and I hope that my write-ups motivate others to live a better life.

I also feel that blogging is a great writing exercise.  I’ve found that since I’ve been doing this the last year my writing has been changing and morphing.

Then there are times blogging is just a way to get something out that needs to be expressed.  Or to solidify a new way of thinking, being, feeling.  To start a new life.  To start over.  To be held accountable.

There are millions of incredible blogs out there of people just sharing, healing, bonding, supporting each other over goals or overcoming obstacles.

My advice (of course, always my advice) is that you should blog for you and you alone.  Don’t do it for money, a fan base, to promote your things…well, yes do that, promote whatever but also do it for your benefit and fun.  Do it if you love to do it.  If you want to blog don’t get caught up in what other people are doing or writing or how fabulous their site looks or how many followers that blogger has or how many comments and likes another blogger gets.  Who cares!!  Do it for you.  Use it to hone your writing skills, to expel demons, to do therapy, for fun, because you’re lonely or because you feel you have something important to say and share.

There is a group out there for all of us.  Someone or some group needs your words of encouragement, your advice, your motivational speech.

Blog on!!

Learning to write romance. And how to make bad reviews work for you.

I’ve been immersed in paperwork and study.  And not really the fun kind.  I’ve been doing the homework to buy a house, the hunting, finding, failing, the victory, the paperwork, showing proof of everything down to your blood type, the scanning of forms, endless emails and phone conversations, the driving all the way back and forth to the new town and house and back…the real life drama and nail-biting moments.

Then I’ve been on my quest to know Jesus and all that entails.  Books, books, and more books…and the internet which sucks as far as being a good source unless you know what you’re doing.  I’ve been studying Evolution, Creation, historical proof, archeological proof, scientific proof and on and on.  I was losing my mind with all the science.  Sometimes I had to reread whole paragraphs over and over until I would decide that maybe it was ok that I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about.  I believe, I believe!!!  Lord have mercy!

Finally today I’ve reached the end.  My goals were to find a house and find out who Jesus truly is.  Done!  I found the house and I found Jesus.  Check.  Check.

I cleaned off my desk, filed all the housing papers, and took all my books back to the library.  Now, time to get back into fiction writing mode.  Back to fantasy land.  Back to having some fun.

I’ve been getting some delightful reviews and stars on some of my books including one of my fiction books A Farmer’s Widow.  However, the other day I was hit with a double doozy.  I received two very, very bad ratings on two very different books.  One was my Queen of Sober book on how to get through the first year of sobriety.  The woman gave me a token star and said that if you didn’t drink to excess before this preachy, cliche, nothing to back it up book, you would after.  The other token star and an unpleasant review was on A Farmer’s Widow.  The reviewer said it was 2 hours of her life she would never get back and then wrote up a whole page on the book ending it with a claim that the whole book left a bad taste in her mouth.

So, I’m thinking that since one person wanted to drink herself to death after reading my book on sobriety and another lost 2 hours of her life on my fiction she said had no romance…well, I may need to put some focus on this department now.

I know it seems twisted but I was sort of pleased that the woman that hated my romance book so much took an extra hour of her life to write such a long review.  I mean really.  I read stacks of books all the time and if I can’t engage by the first few pages or chapter I just send it back to the library.  I feel like I’m finally making it.  A year ago I wasn’t even getting reviews!  Progress.

I also received a five star and golden review on the romantic book the same day (but I didn’t see this until days later).  This reader said the exact opposite, that the book was a skilled portrayal of human emotions from grief to passion!  She said the book was captivating from beginning to end.  Hummmm.  The point is that I’m creating strong emotions in my readers.  Either love or hate.  Glory be!  I’m on my way sister!

The good reviews are what keep you motivated and Gods wink toward keeping on the path. Those bad reviews are great tools to be used to hone your skills.  I did a little research on the reader that detested my book.  Often reviewers on amazon have a little site of their own that list all the books and products they review and rate.  She seemed to like a more sexy, intense, hardcore scene.  I understood why my book was a nightmare to her.  It was boring.  My books are borderline Hallmark and she wanted some schmex.  I don’t know what schmex is but she had it in many of her reviews.  Maybe that’s the problem…I don’t know what schmex is and I should as a writer of romantic novellas.  Or maybe not.

I refuse to join the world in all it’s hot love scenes and soft porn.  I will continue to write clean books, however, I will agree with this reader that I could probably steam it up a bit so I  ordered Romancing the Beat and Save the Cat on screen writing.  I’m not writing screen plays…yet, however, this books sounded fantastic on how to actually construct a movie to impress.  I’m sure you can apply the tools to writing books.

 

Romancing the Beat has already arrived and I’m going to settle in bed with it tonight.  It’s time get off the study and work train and get on the fun, fictional writing train.  I have to get back into storytelling mode.  A few romantic movies, a few books on how to actually write these books, and a little time writing out some plots.  Who knows.

Maybe I should wait until I’ve moved into the new house.  After all, I don’t want to get into book writing, story telling mode and have to abruptly stop to pack and unpack.  Ah, an excuse to extend my vacation.

When I start a book I have to go like mad until done or I may get bored or insecure and quit.  I have something like 4 started books, a half-written book, and one finished book that I didn’t like in the end.  Sometimes I think you have to write and publish before you can come to your senses or nothing would ever be produced and marketed.  Did I mention that I have five book covers that have no books as of yet?  Sigh.

 

 

 

 

The Funky Housewife.

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I LOVE, LOVE being a homemaker!  With that said, I’ll admit that I haven’t been the best of one lately…because, I LOVE, LOVE writing!  I write my books, I write my blogs, I read about writing and write about writing and dream about writing and wake up at 2:30 in the morning to write down thoughts, I scribble ideas on napkins in the truck and think about my next blog while folding laundry.

I don’t expect much from blogging.  I am not as crisp and sparkly, professional or quick witted as most out there and it took me 4 months to figure out how to categorize my blogs.  I try getting ideas off other blogs, but it’s really intimidating.  Some of these stay at home mothers are intense.  They make fancy things with string and foam and decorate their cookies with flower petals from their big gardens and take professional photos of step by step procedures on making organic play dough.  They have a whole weeks worth of blogs on how to fold fitted sheets and alphabetize your pantry.  Holly shit! These ladies are talented and cracked out on some kind of coffee I need in my life!

So I thought to myself, “I can do that!”  I made a homemade pizza and took pictures…with my cell phone.  I forgot to take the first three steps and one of the middle steps, but you get the idea (I’ll put it up here as soon as I figure out how to download it to my laptop).  One of my hinges broke off my linen cupboard because I’ve taken to just wading up my fitted sheets and shoving them in there and forcing the cupboard closed.  I wrote a book Queen of Penny Pinching and then proceeded to fall off the frugal wagon and had to turn the finances over to my husband because I can’t trust myself right now.  I’m really f–king sick of pinching pennies.  I want all that abundance that we talk about in metaphysics.

I used to be a pretty good housewife.  Baking and cleaning 24/7.  Then I discovered two things far more important.  First, that my beautiful babies were growing really, really fast and I needed to stop and stare at them for the next 15 years (or until they hit pubescence and yell, “stop staring at me mom, GOD, how weird!”).  Second, that I love to write and think…and talk, share my thoughts and ideas, help others live better, make people laugh at how ridiculous it ALL is, and expand my world through blogging.  My homemaking was declining.  Then I learned how to do it faster, easier…really streamline this job.  Everything from cleaning, tidying, cooking, and shopping is done more efficiently than ever.  That is the kind of homemaker I am!

I love a clean house and I love tidy.  I actually can’t think when there is a mess, but my idea of tidy lately is seeing how much crap I can stuff in drawers and the closet in the hallway.   I purposely downsized us to a tiny cottage in town from a huge house in the country so I could cut my cleaning in half or less (and cut cost so I’d have more money to spend).  I am constantly putting items on the curb with a free sign.  I call it de-cluttering and write about this in my books, but honestly, I get rid of stuff because I want to make cleaning my house easier and more efficient…so I can get back to writing.  I don’t have time to dust nick knacks or move around 20 pieces of furniture to mop for Christ sake!  There’s writing to be done!  There are sandcastles to be made!

I do have an opinion about home cooking.  I take pride in my cook from scratch methods.  I feel that a house really becomes a home when there is a lot of cooking and baking going on in that kitchen.  The aromas of stewing and simmering, the clinking, and clanking of pots and the busyness of putting together a meal brings a home to life.  It feels like your heart is in your home! When you spend the day rolling out the dough and simmering tomatoes for a sauce, that feels like you adore being at home and you have the love of your family in your heart.  But it doesn’t have to be complicated or fancy.  There is no lamb roast with mint jelly going on here.  No dishes worth photographing.  Tonight I made homemade fries and cheese, rice and bean burritos.  An odd combo and loaded with carbs, but it’s my penny-pinching ways right now, I’m working with what I have.  And there are times I’m sick and tired of cooking and I get pre-made stuff at Trader Joe,s.  I call their food toy food, because of all the fun packages and play food like resemblance.

Everything I’ve written about in my books, I have fully experienced, researched, and tried out.  I have read huge stacks of books, read hundreds of blogs and articles, and watched endless YouTube videos or documentaries on every subject I write about.  I love talking about being thrifty, helping others get out of debt, showing mothers and fathers how to live off one income (no matter how tiny) so they can stay home with their babies.  I love nesting and cooking and even cleaning even if I don’t do great at it right now.

However, I am not one of those amazing homemakers that have a sparkly house like that lady, http://www.flylady.net/.  Now, that woman has it going on in the clean department, check out her site.  Then there is another lady I found the other day, http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/.  Holly shamolly!  She’s got everything you can dream of.  Now, these ladies are professionals.

I am a funky housewife.  I ask my husband if I should start a site called funkyhousewife.com just for my homemaking advice.  Too much work.  It’s all here or in my books.  I have tons of great and fun advice for those of you who love your home and home life but aren’t trying to win an award, who don’t care if the bottom sheet matches the top, and sometimes your home cooking catches fire.  I’m that advice Queen for the ladies who can decorate a whole house from the garage sales or who could give a toot about those coupons but can still cut the grocery bill in a big way.  I’m for the housewives who bring their own bags to the grocery store, can find organics at Winco, and drag their kids to the park in a wagon rather than drive the 2 blocks because she’s being green.

I’m also perfect for the stay at home dads or anyone just starting out and just wants to survive the week without losing a child at the store or having the other working spouse “relieve” them of their duties for reasons of incompetence.  For the more advanced of you ladies and gents, or those of you wanting to win an award…see the websites  Flylady.net and livingwellspendingless.com and they will lead you through fantastic cleanliness and organization.  Come to me when you want to get the job done quickly and get back to rolling around on the grass with the kids and whatever hobby you are currently invested in.

I’ll be waiting with my coffee!